BEST OF JODY’S BOX: DON’T BLAME ME, THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT MOTOCROSSERS SAY TO EACH OTHER

By Jody Weisel

I ran into Jimmy Mac in the pits after our second moto. I hadn’t seen him all day long. He had started pitting way down the hill at Glen Helen ever since he got that new girlfriend. The gang figured that he didn’t want her to hear us ridicule him about virtually everything he did. But, since I caught up to him after he got dressed into his civvies and she was nowhere to be seen, I figured I’d get in a few jabs.

“Did you race today?” I asked. Asking this question implies that he was so far behind that you didn’t think he was there.

“Yes, I raced; in fact, I almost got the holeshot,” he said defensively.

“You mean to the first turn?” I asked. Since he hadn’t cracked after my first question, I could tell that this one got his goat—and I don’t mean “GOAT.”

“I was right behind you on your left in the first turn,” he said defensively.

Jimmy Mac, all dressed up and nowhere to hide.

I HUGGED THE INSIDE LINE AND TURNED TIGHT AS THE PACK SWUNG TO THE OUTSIDE. IT WAS A BRILLIANT MOVE, ESPECIALLY WHEN KEN ROCZEN DOES IT; HOWEVER, WHEN I DID IT, I CAME OUT OF THE CORNER IN EIGHTH.

But, I knew that it was a lie, because I was nowhere near the front and had crossed over from the outside gate to the inside of the first turn, and the only thing that could have been on my left side was a sheet of paper. I hugged that inside line and turned tight as the pack swung to the outside. It was a brilliant move, especially when Ken Roczen does it; however, when I did it, I came out of the corner in eighth.

“Hey, let me talk to what’s her name, your new girlfriend, because I’m pretty sure that she saw your start a lot different than you did,” I said as I looked around to see if she was standing by the fence.

“Her name is Anna Lisa,” he said mockingly. “She’s in the truck. We have to leave pretty soon because we’re going out tonight.”

“Together?” I asked.

“You’re just sore because I almost passed you in the hairpin,” he said. “You’ll remember it because I left a black tire mark on your swingarm with my front tire.”

“Jimmy, I don’t remember anything like that,” I replied. “And if you did almost pass me, wouldn’t you have left a black tire mark on my swingarm with your rear tire?”

“I chased you all the way to the white flag and decided to settle for where I was,” he said.

“That’s not true, because I looked back when I crossed the finish line and the only guys close to me were the Floyd brothers,” I said.

“Yeah, I made a mistake in the sand section on the last lap, and Jimmy and Monte Floyd went by me. I decided to settle for where I was,” said Jimmy.

“Do you have any idea what place you settled for? Was it fourth? Fifth? Sixth? Tenth? 13th?” I asked innocently.

“Yeah, I think I was sixth. I haven’t checked the scoreboard yet, but sixth sounds about right,” said Jimmy.

“How does 16th sound to you?” I asked.

“No. No. No. I only finished two places behind you,” he said defensively.

“Sorry, Jimmy, but I was 13th, Monte Floyd 14th and Jimmy Floyd 15th. That left 16th place as high as you could have possibly gotten,” I said with a smile.

“I’m gonna go check the scores. The girls must have made a mistake,” said Jimmy as he started to walk away.

“Do you mean the girl who built your transponder in Atlanta, the girl who boxed it up in My Laps shipping department, or the UPS girl who drove the truck?” I replied as he scurried away.

But, I was still in earshot when Jimmy Mac ran into Jimmy Floyd, who asked him, “Did you race today?”