BEST OF JODY’S BOX: MOTORCYCLE RACING IS A BUSINESS & THE IRS CAN PROVE THAT TO YOU
BY JODY WEISEL
“Sit down Mr. Weisel, Did I pronounce your name right?” he said as he shuffled papers on his desk.
“Well,” I said. “It’s actually a German name and it is pronounced ‘Why-sell.'” But he wasn’t listening.
“I’ll be with you in a moment,” said the IRS man in the gray flannel suit. I was nervous.
“I don’t know why you called me down here, “ I said. “I’m sure that…”
“All in due time,” said the man as he slammed a big file cabinet behind him closed.
“Actually,” I said. “I have an accountant and he is the one who…”
“We, at the IRS, are here to help you,” said the man, although it was obvious that he wasn’t here to help me finish my sentences.
“I want to pay my taxes and I’m fairly positive that my records are…”
“We’ll be the judge of whether or not you have fairly paid the tax you owe the U. S. government,” said the tax man as he sat down behind his desk. He gave me the evil eye over the folder he was holding in his hands and continued. “After reviewing your income tax returns we have a few questions. It should be noted that our computers red flag any deductions, credits or write-offs that it finds unusual. I’m required by the GAO to inform you that just because you have been called down to the Federal Building doesn’t mean that you have done anything wrong. We just want to ask you a few questions to confirm your guilt.”
“My lawyer is out in the lobby and if I could just bring him in he could straighten this…” I said as he cut me off.
“Sorry, but you are not allowed outside representationat this informal hearing,“ said the tax man. “It is your signature and yours alone at the bottom of your tax return.”
“I didn’t actually prepare my own taxes. I simply signed them. You probably want to talk to my business manager. He arranged for the firm that…” I tried to squeeze in the last couple words of my explanation in, but he slammed the thick folder down hard enough to scare me.
“Let’s cut to the chase, shall we,” said the tax man. “We noticed that you claimed a $20,000 deduction for airfare, $24,000 for motorcycles, $4000 in race gas, $3500 in tools, $152 for tear-offs and $35 for something called Fog-Free. Is this true?”
“Yes,” I said with a nervous giggle. “And I have the receipts to prove that…” This time I just let my voice trail off.
“Actually,” said the tax man, “we are willing to accept these deductions as part of your job as a professional motorcycle racer. They seem in line. However, could you explain the $123 in socks, $190 in foam tape and $43 in Bactine?”
“Blisters are a job hazard and I got off big a fewtimes and…”
“Good enough,” said the tax man. “We are understanding at the IRS. I suppose you have a good explanation for writing off $225 worth of ice last year.”
“That was for business lunches, which of course were held at the track. I can assure you that at no time did I break the three martini…”
“Fine, let me check that off,” said the tax man. ”We’ll accept that as a legitimate business expense.”
“You probably noticed that I wrote off about $750 in Gatorade last year and I just want to let you…”
“Say no more,” replied the tax man. ”If the IRS accepts the ice as a write-off we have to allow your deduction for Gatorade.”
“I’m relieved,” I said as I settle back into my chair. ”I was afraid that the IRS wouldn’t understand the business of professional motorcycle racing. After all, it isn’t like being a shoe clerk or …”
“Take my word for it,” said the tax man with a smile. “The IRS understands everything about professional athletes. We audit the tax reports of everybody from Jalen Hurt to LeBron James. Your return is not all that complicated. I just have one more question.”
“I only want to be helpful,” I replied. “I certainly don’t want to deprive the government of another F-16. I think you’ll see that everything is in…”
“We’re grateful for your cooperation,” said the taxman. “But there is one discrepancy in your tax return that we would like you to clear up for us. We noticed on your Form 1040 that you spent approximately $109,000 on your racing career last year. You also have legitimate business expenses for the three people you employ as a mechanic, driver and lackey (not counting the lawyer, accountant, business manager and tax expert). And that you properly calculated the depreciation on machinery, tax credits for your semi truck and payment exclusions for non-refundable state taxes.”
“What’s the problem then?” I asked. “All that is legal and within…”
“First of all Mr. Weisel, you spent $109,000 last year to go racing, but your earned income was less than the U.S. poverty level. From the IRS’s point of view, you are not running a business for profit. I have to ask you, if you in fact ever won a race.”
“Sure did. I said. “I won three SMX Supercrosses last year and just missed the Championship by 15 points.”
“Let me get this straight! You claim that you won almost one-fifth of the major Supercrosses in the United States last season, but only earned $15,000. How can that be?”
“I suggest you audit the Supercross Promoters for the answer to that question and then let me know their answer…”
Comments are closed.