BEST OF JODY’S BOX: “ON A GOOD DAY A SUN DIAL IS ADEQUATE, BUT TODAY I BROUGHT A POCKET CALENDAR.”
Lovely Louella.
There is a quantum difference between men and woman — and the gap grows geometrically when the man is a motorcycle racer. Take lovely Louella for example. She loves to go to the races. She hob nobs with her friends, visits the snack bar and catches some rays in a lawn chair. And, if she’s not too busy, she might watch a race or two. I like it when she is in the pits. It gives me someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of and keep me centered. Here are some typical conversations.
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“Jody!”said lovely Louella. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you. Give me the keys to the truck. I have to move it.”
“Why? Is it blocking someone?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “I’m going to move it from the pits to the driveway at home. You can get a ride home with Jimmy Mac.”
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“Boy, I hope I get a good start,” I said to luscious Louella before the start of the second moto.
“Why?” she asked while casually turning the page of her National Geographic.
“So I can win!” I said.
“What will that prove?” she asked.
“That I’m the fastest rider,” I said.
“In the world?” she asked.
“No, not exactly, but the fastest rider here,” I said.
“Here in California?” she asked.
“No, I mean here at Glen Helen,” I said.
“So, if you win today you’ll be the fastest rider at Glen Helen?” she said.
“In my class,” I said.
“Are there other classes?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“How many?” she asked.
“Thirteen,” I said.
“Is everybody who wins his class the fastest rider at Glen Helen,” she said.
“No,” I said. “You are putting too much emphasis on winning. I’m here to have fun.”
“Then I guess it doesn’t matter what kind of start you get, does it?” she said.
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“Louella, said Jimmy Mac’s girlfriend Sheila.” Jimmy wants me to do lap times in his next moto. Could I borrow your stopwatch?”
“I don’t use a stopwatch to do Jody’s lap times,” said Louella.
“What do you use?” asked Sheila.
“On a good day a sun dial is adequate, but today I brought a pocket calendar.”
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“Jody,” said lovely Louella. “What happened in the last moto? You were missing for two laps.”
“I got caught up in a ten-bike pileup in the first turn,” I said.
“How are you going to do in the next moto?” she asked.
“I hope to do as least as well as in the first one,” I said.
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“Jody,” said Crazy Dave after the first moto. “I know a corner where you can save a second a lap.”
“That would be cool. Do you know what it would mean if I could knock a second off my lap times in the corners?” I asked.
“Yeah,“ said Louella without looking up from her National Geographic. “You’d only be losing time on the straights.”
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“How did you do in the first moto,” asked Louella while thumbing through the latest issue of National Geographic.
“Didn’t you watch my moto?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “It was dusty over by the fence.”
“In that case,” I said. “I won.”
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