BEST OF JODY’S BOX: THE BEST THING ABOUT THE AMA IS THAT THEY ARE FLEXIBLE ABOUT THE RULES

The AMA rules change constantly, although they aren’t always in the rulebook. Or they are in the rulebook, but the type is too small. You know what I like about the people who run AMA Professional Motocross? They are really flexible when it comes to enforcing rules. It is obvious to me that they really like riders. How do I know? That’s easy. They do really nice things for me all the time. I have lots of examples.

If my race bike comes in a pound or two under the AMA limit, they don’t disqualify me. They let me dig around in my tool box and find a part. Once I’ve found something heavy enough, they let me claim that it fell off my bike.

If I ignore the Red Cross flags and double jump over a fallen rider and a couple of ambulance guys, they don’t disqualify me, which is cool because I used that move to win the race. Even if they fine me a couple grand later, my win bonus was $50,000 so I came out $48,000 ahead.

If my bike won’t start on the line, they don’t rush to start the race. The AMA holds everything up and waits for my mechanics to put my Power Valve back on, even if it takes seven or eight minutes. Those AMA guys are considerate.

If I’m nice to the guy who does the AMA sound test, my bike will pass before I even rev it up to the required limit. He just says, “You’re bike is okay. Don’t bother.”

If I stay in the top ten in points I get first pick at the gate every week. This really comes in handy because it is rare that a starting gate has more than four or five good starting spots.

If I don’t complain too much about the way things are run, the AMA guys will give me a good spot to park in the pits, not way in the back with all the other peons (where you can’t hear the P.A. system).

If I manage to do really well, the AMA will let me bring my motor home in the pits. This is really nice of them because they are always complaining about how there isn’t enough room in the pits for the privateers.

If I jump the gate and get stuck in it, they are Johnny on the spot to claim it was a gate malfunction and, out of fairness, wave the red flag and call the other 39 guys back to the starting line for a restart.

If I want to race a works bike, even though they are illegal under the AMA production rule, the AMA guys will let me do it. Oh, they make me show them an owner’s manual to prove that the bike company intends to build more bikes than just mine later.

If I ride backwards on the track the AMA will go to the score sheets and find out how far behind me the next place guys was. If he was seven seconds back, they penalize me five seconds. If he was 15 seconds back, they penalize me ten seconds.This is pretty neat of them, because they used to disqualify guys for the same offense.

If I get all crossed up and can’t make it through the whoops, they let me run off into the infield and miss the whoops completely. This is welcomed because I get to rejoin the race at full speed. It is a big advantage, although they won’t let me pass anybody, which I think is petty of them.

If I’m in the top 20, I don’t have to practice with anyone who isn’t as fast as me. This is a big advantage because I get to follow Ricky, Chad and Bubba over all the jumps. It cuts down on the learning curve. If I was in the other practice, I’d have to build up the nerve to jump those jumps by myself. And, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t do it.

If I’m not in the top 20 in points the AMA lets me ride in the top 20 practice anyway. They like me better than those other 80 guys. I gotta hand it to those AMA guys, they have a heart.

If I crash in the first turn the AMA will allow me to have an official picker-upper stationed there for just such an emergency. I feel sorry that privateers aren’t allowed to have a picker-upper, but there is only enough room for factory guys up there.

If someone tries to use the AMA claiming rule to buy my production motorcycle, the AMA will drop the rule a week later to make sure that it never happens again. That is so thoughtful.

If I want to have a special gas tank made that will lower the center of gravity on my bike, narrow the width and improve air flow it is okay with the AMA. I know that under the production rule this is illegal, but you’re wrong, my handmade $1000 aluminum gas tank doesn’t hold any more gas than the stockers that the privateers run.

If I want to bring my ten-year-old nephew into the pits, it’s okay. He can even bring Snooky, his dog, with him. I know it’s against AMA rules for anyone under 16 or pets to be in the pits, but the AMA doesn’t enforce this rule for people they like.

If too many riders show up for a mud race, the AMA guys will seed me into the main event and then get a pretty girl to draw numbers out of a hat for the rest of the starting spots. If your number isn’t drawn, you go home without putting a wheel on the track. Luckily, by that time I’m resting in the lounge in my 18-wheeler.

If I get angry at a guy for taking me out I can punch him. Although the AMA doesn’t condone this, they will only fine me $5000, but, best of all, they will fine the guy I punched $2000 for not ducking.

See what I mean? Those AMA guys are great. They have been handed the responsibility of making sure that our sport is fair, that the rules are enforced equally and that even the poorest AMA privateer is as important as a factory rider. And, from where I’m sitting—they are doing a bang-up job.