BEST OF JODY’S BOX: “I’M GOING TO REVEAL TO YOU THE BEST MOTOCROSS ADVICE I EVER GOT”

By Jody Weisel

The best motocross advice I ever got is meaningless in today’s modern world. I’m going to reveal it to you with full knowledge that the majority of you won’t fully comprehend its significance. Ready? I don’t remember the name of the genius who told it to me, but it changed my life when he leaned over and yelled this single bit of advice into my helmet—”Down for low.”

In the good old days, “Down for low” meant the difference between being pitched over the bars, bogging off the line or looking like a goon. What does it mean? It means that you select first gear by pressing the shift lever down. It seems so basic today, but that is only because a federal law was passed in the mid-’70s mandating that every bike have first gear at the bottom (on the left side of the bike). Before the government intervened, some bikes shifted on the left, some on the right, some up, some down and there was even one that shifted in a continuous circle (first, second, third, fourth, fifth, first, second, third…forever).

Once, at Texas’ Lockhart track (which we called “Rockhart”), I raced a Hodaka in the 100 class (up for low on the left), a Bultaco in the 250 class (up for low on the right) and a BSA in the 500 class (down for low on the right). I was thrown over the bars twice every lap. Advice, especially good advice, is only valuable if you desperately need it—otherwise federal laws will suffice.

If I could offer you only one tip about motocross it would be, “Aspire to the Novice class.” Speed is over-rated. The faster you are, the less happy you are. I guarantee you that there is not a single former National Champion who is happy with the speed at which he rides today. His joy of riding was ruined by speed that he can no longer maintain. Whereas the rest of us can go this slow forever. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

I have other nuggets of wisdom to impart that could help you, might confuse you and, at some level, mystify you.

Enjoy the stupidity of youth. Never mind that you don’t know how stupid you are. Trust me, in ten years, you’ll look back at the things you did, positions you took, tattoos you got and things you said and wonder why more people didn’t pick up bike stand and smack you across the forehead. On the plus side, stupidity fades as you get older—just like those tattoos.

Today is the day to scare yourself silly. See that double? Do that double! If you start thinking about it you’ll never do it. People who think too much end up living longer, making more money, vacationing in Tavarua, marrying wisely and investing well—but they don’t clear as many doubles.

In a nutshell, crashing can be defined in 11 words, “One second my hands were full, the next they were empty.”

Always check the water in your radiator. Never take for granted that your handlebars are tight. Look in your gas tank. Don’t keep score (they pay people to do that and they normally get it wrong). Accept the fates of motocross. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but nobody really wants to hear about it.

IN A NUTSHELL, CRASHING CAN BE DEFINED IN 11 WORDS, “ONE SECOND MY HANDS WERE FULL, THE NEXT THEY WERE EMPTY.”

If a competitor compliments your riding style, compliment him on his. That’s called tit-for-tat. If he insults your riding style, compliment his. That’s called sarcasm. Never compliment your own riding style. That’s called being a factory rider. Keep all your old trophies so that after you die your children will have something to remember you by on the drive to the dump. If you’ve never won a trophy, buy one at a garage sale. Whining is contagious. Avoid whiners as you would lepers. Forgive me, that was a thoughtless statement. Accept lepers, but avoid whiners. It’s often said that the squeaking wheel gets the grease—except at a factory team where they get a new wheel instead.

Be suspicious of people with perfect tans, art deco goatees, excessive jewelry, large entourages and Armorall’ed dashboards—they obviously have too much time on their hands.

Hard work never killed anybody, but it knocks the snot out of excessive personal grooming.

There’s no such thing as a loner. At least not one that any of us know.

Take your parents to the races with you—even if they don’t want to go. Make your mom blip the throttle while you put on your helmet. Noise, as mom will soon learn, isn’t as objectionable when you are making it.

Race a four-stroke at least once in your life—no matter how much it goes against your two-stroke creed. Teach a neophyte how to put a bike on a stand without getting a hernia (it’s all in the hip). Never mention how long it has been since you’ve had a flat tire. Never ram unless you’re willing to be rammed. Kiss a trophy girl (winning a trophy is optional).

The only thing that changes with time is the last two digits on the year. Back in ‘72, bikes cost too much, the AMA was inept, the water truck was broken, the purses were a joke, the trophies were smaller than hood ornaments, people were mis-scored, tracks were one-lined, there were lots of cherry-pickers and over-size 125’s filled the starting lines. Thankfully, none of that is true today.

A 34 waist is the ultimate size. Why? The young are headed for it and the old dream of it.

The more stuff you put on your bike to make it faster, the slower it goes. “New wave” is just the old stuff, dusted off, repackaged and marketed to people too young to realize the scam. Any sport that claims to be “extreme” is asking to be passe’. The true test of any sport is its sense of sportsmanship. Jeremy McGrath is no different than anybody else with two arms, two legs and 72 Supercross wins.

You’re never as fast as when you’re slow! Oh yeah, “down for low.”

 

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